I love these two girls so much! But sometimes I can use a few minutes- or days to myself. And then it can hit: MOMMY GUILT! Not all of us have it, but many of us do. Some moms have no guilt at all, some only feel guilty until they get on the plane or to their destination and some moms feel guilty the whole time and when they return home, overcompensate for their time away. Mommy guilt arises when we feel we’re not doing what’s best for our children, especially if we’re comparing ourselves to others. There are so many things to trigger this guilt. If you don’t believe me, check out this blog post on scary mommy.
Add to the mix your burning desire to travel- alone or with friends- and sans the children and that guilt might be cranked up a notch or two. And to be honest, this meme can ring true for many of us:
But Raising Nomads wants you to take a trip beyond Target, and not feel guilty for leaving your mini-mes behind. Why? Because you’re doing your family a favor by taking some time for yourself! I had to learn that. On the first trip my husband and I took alone, I cried so hard on the plane that my husband asked if I just wanted to go back home. I texted my mother, who was keeping the girls, every couple of hours and I scrolled through my phone looking at their pictures. I just missed them so much and I was sure they were missing me. Ha!
Whether you’re traveling alone, with friends or with your significant other, time away from your little ones helps you to focus on you and to reconnect with parts of you that aren’t defined by your role as a mom. Do you like journaling? Do it on a trip. Want to watch tv all day? Do it in the hotel. Want to lay out by the beach in Cancun or shop the streets of Paris? Do it. You only have one life and your kids will grow up to have their own. You need to be around-and sane to enjoy it with them.
Maybe you know you need a getaway, even if it’s to the next town over, but you’re still feeling like you can’t leave your kids because they need you. Well, here are a few things I think can help you get over it:
Call your kiddos to check on them if you miss them
Don’t torture yourself and feel like you can’t check on your children if you feel the urge to do so. Just don’t keep checking on them- like every half hour. Tell them what you’re doing and keep the call short, especially if you have a child that might start crying because she misses you.
Let them indulge in something they don’t normally do
Maybe they get to have pizza two nights in a row or stay up later. My girls love that they can stay all day Chuck E. Cheese, but this only happens when I’m away. I have found if they’re busy with these “treats” they don’t seem to miss me as much.
Realize they probably don’t miss you as much as you think
Kids can have their own interests, right?
Bring back something for them
It always helps me to get a trinket or something unique for the girls that we can talk about when I get back from my trip.
See, you can do it! So, go take care of yourself!